Holla to everyone snowed in on this day. 🙂
Hola to those of you in the sunshine! I would trade places with you;like right now!:-)

The weather has been interesting in London and as a result, some of us are still under the warmth of our duvets.I consider such a time as a time to reflect and wisely use another time away from work!

As I lay in bed,the thought on my mind today is Emotional Abuse. There are so many emotionally abusive people around us but some are not even aware that they are.

Psychological research has shown that emotional abuse has a more drastic impact on humans than physical abuse. Whereas physical abuse may leave you with scars,emotional abuse has the power to destroy the inner you. The emotional scarring as a result of the aforementioned can live on for years,thereby creating a sense of worthlessness.

Any person who does or acts in any of the ways below is actually abusing you emotionally. Run as far as possible before it gets too deep.

– [ ] Anyone who repeatedly disrespects or crosses your boundaries. Any man or woman who ignores your requests when you say: ‘No, I’ve had enough,no not now,I’ve got to go,’etc.

– [ ] Anyone who is domineering and controlling. These people do or say things to demean you, to upset you or frighten you. They want to take glory for your blessings even when they had no hand in the good you are experiencing. The most vulnerable person to a controller is a sensitive, tender-hearted individual. Abusers recognise your inability to speak up and so they use this to their selfish advantage.

– [ ] Emotionally abusive people will put down your intellect, your physical appearance and so on. Most of these people have self-esteem issues and what better way for them to feed their lack of confidence and their own intellect and appearance. The more you listen to such people,the more you begin to question your true beauty ,your intellect. You begin to see yourself as not worthy and unable to excel in anything you do.

– [ ] Emotional abusers are great at using sarcasm.They use this put you down or make you feel bad. They say the opposite of what they truly mean to demean you or make you feel like you have not achieved anything in life.

– [ ] Anyone who wants to monitor your doings,your time,your whereabouts is emotionally abusive.They would try to create a feeling of guilt in you when you do not share information about you with them. You feel more like a prisoner than a free born in the presence of such people.

– [ ] Any person who makes decisions that affect you without your prior knowledge or consent is an abuser. They plan out the course of your day,week,month,year without due consideration of your needs or feelings.

– [ ] To an emotional abuser, your suggestion,opinion or idea makes no sense.It does not really matter.They completely ignore your feelings and see everything you say as senseless. They do not readily accept your opinions but try to reinforce their own opinion as a law unto you.

– [ ] Any person who involves you in a never-ending argument that sucks the life out of you is an emotional abuser.They know that by going on and on with their argument,you may eventually give up and give in to their reasoning just so you can bring closure to the matter at hand.

– [ ] Any person with controlling expectations is an emotional abuser. They order you around and treat you as if you were a servant. If you’re both adults,they do not treat you as the equal adult that you are. They always feel the need to impose their authority over you. They treat you like a child who needs managing and controlling.

– [ ] Emotionally abusive people do not value or respect your peace and quietness.They have no consideration whatsoever for your privacy.

– [ ] Any person who uses guilt trips to get their way is an abuser. They act so well as victims and with them,you have no right to say no without remorse. They make statement such as ,’if you really cared about me you would do this’,’if you were a good person ,you would act this way or that way’.

There are so many other ways you could recognise emotionally abusive,controlling and manipulating individuals but these are the few I would share for now.

Now, don’t ask me how I know all this. Life is a journey and on this journey, I live,I watch and I learn. And sometimes,I write.

If you’re in a relationship, be it romantic, work-related,friendship where you are being emotionally abused, please seek help. Speak to someone;don’t die alone when the whole world thinks you’re living joyful. And if it is feasible to remove yourself away from that emotional abuser, please do so.

Love and Blessings,
Adja Amy.


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